Sample chapter
2 Years 25 Guys, My True Story Dating Online
By Nicki Milano
INTRO: THE VIEW FROM MY LAPTOP
I’m
writing this from a coffee shop, on a Tuesday at
Coffee shops are a common place for internet dates. To my right is an obvious internet date in progress – awkward conversation about basic demographic information, the typical “mismatch” of physical appearance (photos often lie). In this case, it’s a very attractive younger woman sitting with a short and somewhat strange looking older man.
This “couple” plunges through conversation anyway, hoping that all those late night calls, emails and instant messages weren’t in vain. Politely, they try to force similarities, as they stifle nervous laughter and search desperately for common ground.
“No way. You like sugar in your coffee? So do I!”
“Yes, how interesting.”
Instant, deep connections are rare of course – I’ve been in this situation enough to know. And it’s pretty obvious this is not a match.
For the past two years, I’ve lived a life of first dates. Meeting strangers every few days, putting on heels and mascara in my car before running into a restaurant a few minutes late. Answering calls and not being sure which guy I’m talking to. Which one was Mike again?
It’s all very exciting at first. Sexy guys with intense eyes opening doors. Lots of potential around every corner and a full social calendar. Then, as everyone who online dates a lot realizes, you begin to graduate to a stage where dating becomes about as exciting as going to the grocery store. Sure, they might have a sale on pretzels or something, but it’s nothing to jump around screaming about. Unless you really like pretzels.
The rest of the coffee shop is mostly older men, sitting looking depressed as they type away. I’m not exactly sure why they’re here tonight, but I’m guessing they don’t have a lovely and intelligent dream woman lying around the house in a silk bathrobe waiting for them at home. And if they do, she’s probably filling up those lonely hours by online dating and will soon divorce the cold bastard anyway.
And as for me? Well, I tried for two years. I did everything in my power to snag someone snazzy and it hasn’t yet clicked. Do I regret it? No. Did I learn more than I ever though I would and have a lot of stories to tell my friends? Yup. Which is why I’m writing this.
No, it’s not just you. Online dating is hard. Mine is just one experience of millions, but I hope you can relate and see yourself somewhere in these stories.
Have I given up on dating? Pretty much. Wait – I just got a text message, as I’m writing this, from the latest guy. This is the reason it’s hard to give up online dating. Just when you think you’re done, just when you’ve deleted every profile, told all your friends you’re giving it up and have decided to take up gardening or Parcheesi instead, just at that moment – you get a text message.
So,
let’s fast forward. I reluctantly answered that text
message. And tonight, a few weeks later, I turn off my
phone. I will
never
answer his call again. It all happens so quickly.
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